Mindset Coaching Technique You Drop The Ball On!
Do you know there’s someone you are around literally all day that can either be a foe or an ally, often not on purpose? That’s you! Self talk is a mindset technique that many people use by nature. From the conversations I’ve heard people having with themselves, it seems they are almost trying to set themselves up to fail! When it comes to mindset coaching techniques you can do at home, there’s one that could be obvious to work on but it normally isn’t. Positive self talk!
Do These Examples Fit You?
- As soon as you open your eyes, you say you’re going to have a bad day
- You sin without even thinking about it and you shame shame yourself perpetually
- You always pick the losers, you’re either going to be single forever or end up miserable
- Can you try not to screw this up again?
- You really can’t do anything right can you?
- You’ve really just wasted your life and can’t do anything with the rest of it.
- You’re such an idiot.
- Don’t talk, your probably going to embarrass yourself as usual!
- You should have led that person to Christ, why didn’t you say anything you failure?
- What a dumby, you really thought you could handle one drink??!! Years later, look at you, you’re a wreck!
- You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, I’m going to be a loser forever.
Imagine hearing things like what’s above or similar to it. Day in and day out. Week after week and month after month. Doesn’t it make sense you may actually believe it? Many people get snared by using poor self talk; when in all actuality you could be using an incredible mindset coaching technique, or more which you will find below! These are a few of the mindset coaching techniques we use ourselves to help change your way of thinking and seeing yourself.
If you’re saying negative ideas or statements first thing in the morning, you probably will have a rough time having a good day. Think about that idea, doesn’t it make sense? There’s a great saying I use all the time, it’s “garbage in, garbage out.” I find a lot of self talk among people involved in our Christian coaching, especially when it comes to leading people to Christ. We only have to plant the seed, He handles the rest.
Construction Has Been Complete
There’s a pastor family that has famously been known as THE evangelists in North America. Their life seemed perfect, and in many areas most would give anything for the life they had! Ruth Bell Graham has a tombstone that reads something that I want you to really sit back and think about. This is one of my favorite mindset coaching techniques do to the potential power it can have on your life. Although morbid when you think about it, it shows many different takeaways. Even those others consider to be greatly successful, realize there is always something to work on until the end.
End of Construction
Thank you for your patience
Tombstone of Ruth Bell Graham
Even as I write this post, I paused and reflected in it. I’m unsure of who is reading this, but regardless of where you are in your life stop for a second. I believe in you! I truly do, we all have the same ability to do better, to do the next right thing! We all have the ability to get out of our funks we encounter in life. We are human and make mistakes, however we have the ability to accept that mistake as a learning occurrence or can create a habit of it.
Look at the end of that paragraph, I mentioned we can create a habit. We can also work on changing that habit. Going back to the list above, there are a few examples where failure is assumed or ridiculed. I’m not sure who said it, but it resonates and I’d like you to take a peak at it before we move on.
Winners are losers who tried one more time”
Unknown, but powerful
That quote and the last part of the epitaph of Mrs. Bell Graham’s tombstone can be used together. Maybe not so much as a mindset coaching technique, but to build your character a bit. After you’ve been used to a habit for a while it becomes second nature. Be it stress eating or shooting heroin, taking a shot the second you walk in the door or being judgmental before knowing someone ingrained habits take time. You can work toward being your best, but you need to realize a habit of 3 months is easier, although still trying, to change than a habit of 20 years. It’s very possible to change though, people do it all the time, so why not you!? Let’s get more into self talk as I went down a rabbit hole, although it didn’t last as long as normal!
Self Mindset Coaching Technique #1 – Stick Up For Yourself!
Have you ever been around someone where they are going off on the failures of someone and want to say “give them a break man!” How often would someone say that to you if they saw you downgrading yourself? Think about that for a minute? If you’re willing to, or even just want to, stick up for someone else in that situation why can’t you do it for yourself? I’ve heard more than a handful of times “because I don’t deserve it.” When coaching and guiding them to explain why, the answer usually has to do with something from the past. In my role, the past is yesterday and it’s not my job to make a better yesterday. That’s actually my favorite saying, I got it form a wise man John Pelligrini who probably got it from someone else but I heard it from him first.
You can’t make a better yesterday
John Pelligrini
I took the saying and added on that you can live a better tomorrow. “You can’t make a better yesterday, but you can make a great tomorrow by living your best today.” And change is tough, but not impossible. “Yes it is.” SHUSH! You’re only making it tougher on yourself, so if you can’t tell yourself to ease up I’ll do it for you. Ease up man, cut yourself a break! Practice this mindset coaching technique, when you catch yourself down talking yourself stand up for yourself.
Self Mindset Coach Technique #2 – Kill Your Critic With Kindness
Would you tell a 3 or 4 year old to suck it up and they messed up? No way, you’d probably congratulate them for trying, say we all make mistakes, you did great and so on right? You need to take that same exact mindset and use it on yourself. Don’t tell your inner critic to just shut up, you’re be aggressive against your inner voice if you do! Like above, hearing something over and over again creates a habit or acceptance. So how do you hush your inner critic, your inner self critic? You use this mindset coaching technique!
Take the old adage, kill them with kindness, and talk to your inner voice as a child. Normally children may be scared when trying to do something new. They’re intimidated by their perceived lack of ability. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to fail off the bat, again would you tell a young child that? Even if it’s not so rudely thought don’t even go with “you’re probably not going to do well.” There’s a chance that you won’t do well and may slip, it’s common sense if you think about it. Instead, quiet your self critic down with something like “I’m going to try, and see how I do. I’ll try it again and do better if I don’t do that well!”
Kids have tantrums, and a calming voice works better at calming them than yelling, right? Kill your inner critic with kindness!
Self Mindset Coaching Technique #3 – Find Proof of the (Un)Truth!
The voice your mind can create through constant self talk can be rough. Myself for example I know I have multiple degrees, certificates, years of experience and vast amounts of life experience. So if I made a mistake on something years ago I had a voice that would ask “why are you so stupid!?” Or even during reflection and realizing I was getting up there in years “You really shouldn’t try to change, you’re past your prime.”
Although I would say those, and similar, things to myself they were inherently wrong! Now I’ll ask myself if I really just said that to myself. Actually, about a year ago I cracked myself up. I walked past a window and saw a distorted reflection of myself and said “oh man you’re fat!” I immediately countered, unfortunately in public and out loud, “At least I’m not ugly, I can drop this weight if I stop eating yogurt covered pretzels in bed.” I remember the clerk told me, there’s nothing wrong with yogurt covered pretzels.
Self Mindset Coaching Technique #4 – Destress!
This mind like anything else can act up when we are under stress. This is a self done mindset coaching technique, but also a part of self care. If you put too much stress on your leg for example, there’s a chance it could fracture right? Your mind is no different under stress. Although it may not outright fracture, you will surely not feel the most positive effects it is capable of. If you find you’re stressing, realize the source and work on it if you can’t outright eliminate it! There are tons of ways to do this:
- Pray
- Journal – which is good to do anyway!
- Instead of stress eating, read a book
- Write a foolish story -one of my favorite activities.
- LAUGH!
- Go for a bike ride
- Close your eyes and take in nature’s self talk – birds chirping, waves crashing, the wind blowing, or rain falling for example.
Get use to practicing this mindset coaching technique regularly, and realize the peace that will come over you. Although this has little to do with bad self talk, that negative self talk will find an easier time creeping up if you are stressed.
Self Mindset Coaching Technique #5 – Stop Being a Jerk To Yourself and Show Some Appreciation!
This can be a tougher mindset coaching technique to master, again through use of hearing yourself. However, many I have met who self sabotage have trauma that was inflicted. Sometimes the lack of self appreciation is brought on by a toxic relationship. Whatever the reason, it is tough to practice self love. That’s understandable, however you can’t let it continue to beat yourself.
I forget who said it, but it was well put that you are in a relationship with yourself for your entire life. The beauty of relationships is that they can get better! You need to work on any relationship you are in, right? Working on the your own is no different. Do you want to be in a miserable relationship, just because you’re used to it? I was, and I have to tell you aside from being able to relate that my new relationship with myself is AMAZING.
Speaking to my fellow Christians, do you know I believe it is a sin to not love who you are? I bet you didn’t know that because many of you have never had the joy of being around me and my loud personality. I don’t do public speaking typically either, but I’m always game for a cup of coffee and bottle of water (I haven’t had coffee in years). I digress. The Bible makes it abundantly clear we are special to God. We are redeemed because of the shed blood of Christ! Maybe part of doing His work for you is to love yourself, appreciate yourself.
So let’s wrap it up, we have 5 different ways you can practice self mindset coaching techniques. Maybe you need an extra hand, and that’s fine we are here for you! Which of the self mindset coaching techniques above do you think you can work on? Which self mindset coaching technique do you feel will be the most difficult? Share your thoughts!
