Life Coaching – What You NEED To Know Before You Hire a Life Coach, When to Say No to Hiring a Professional and 10 Questions to Ask

This is going to cover everything you need to know as a potential consumer about hiring a life coach starting with…..

What Is (Life) Coaching?

Life coaching is a newer industry, probably no more than 30 or so years old. Coaching is a career field that is trending upwards and has over the last few decades. In the grand scheme of things, coaching isn’t entirely new at all! Some niches, or fields of specialization, are newer in the coaching realm such as mindset coaching and life coaching. Coaching has really been around for ages though. Look at baseball, it began in 1846. 

Considering baseball, the hierarchy of the team is how you can envision the coaching relationship. You are the team manager, and to get the best results out of your team you would hire coaches. The players can be seen as your life, depending on how they perform is how the results of your season will go. We have seen time and again the impact a great coach can have on a struggling prospect.

Of course we can swap and alter the roles of manager, coach, and player in our example but that would not make sense in the grand scheme of things. An example for later in this article is how the coaches are used. For example, someone who had a long and distinguished career and was known as an excellent home run hitter would probably be a hitting coach. But if they never took the mound would you want them as your pitching or bullpen coach? Of course not! 

In the coaching relationship, the goal is not to have you as a client forever. Very rarely do great coaches remain with the same client for the same problem. There are of course exceptions to this rule, however the exceptions are for a long-term project or a transition that would take many years to cover. An example of this would be an area of coaching I practice in being a “launching coach”.

A launching coach is one who starts with parents of a high school sophomore for example to prepare them for adulthood. These relationships could last easily into the emerging adults’ middle 20’s! For that field of practice it is expected. 

You have to also be able to work with your coach as we will see below. If the coach was only on the team for his or her contract but hated the manager how would that work? The relationship may not be as transparent or impactful because the coach or manager would not properly communicate with the other. That could hamper the results of the team! Your relationship with the coach, which we will cover later a bit more in depth, is the same. Like in baseball, the life coach is here to guide you to your optimal results. 

What Does a Life Coach Do?

A life coach, to put it simply, coach you in various aspects of life. A life coach will help to guide you from where you currently are to where you want to be. Coaches are known for pulling the best out of you. A coach doesn’t fix or solve the problem for you. If anyone ever makes that claim to you, run! For example, I openly tell clients if I feel I can or cannot help them, however I will look for a different life coach or therapist I believe would be able to help them.

When Should I Hire a Life Coach?

This question is entirely dependent on you and your situation. You may decide you want to bring on a life coach long term after struggling in a particular area of life for a while. The life coach could in this case also act as an accountability partner with lower fees and shorter meetings or life coaching sessions.

Another practical idea when it comes to “when to hire a life coach” is before you engage in or enter into a drastic life change. If you’ve raised a generation of kids and are entering an empty nest situation I would highly suggest looking into a life coach. For me, I became an empty nester early and really had to rely on the advice or counsel of others – it was a tough time and without that coaching would have been even tougher.

Another example of a life change could be getting ready to transition toward retirement. Although you may be interested in a life coach I would highly suggest a financial coach as well. That leads into the different type of coaches you can find!

What Are The Different Types of Life Coaches?

Oh there are tons of them. I will be covering them in a separate post with more emphasis on a detailed description. However the list below will be used temporarily.

• Life Coaches – Well howdy! We get you from one point of life to another, these are “general” type of coaches
• Mentors – Think about someone who mentors you, these coaches can be invaluable based on their previous experiences!
• Business Coaches – These coaches focus on the business world
• Hobby and Recreational Coaches – These are sporting type of coaches mainly, but I have seen advertisements for camping coaches!
• “Struggle” Coaches – These coaches cover a variety of struggles from grief to ADHD to addiction recovery.

Is There Anything to Watch Out For?

When it comes to life coaches, we are not a one size fits all. There are tons of differences that we all have which is a good things. Many life coaches will try to cover everything, and depending on their “tenure” in the life coaching field or experiences and education will do more harm than good. I have been around for over a decade and a half (also as a consultant, however life coaching is surely my calling). So what should you look out for when deciding about a life coach you are interested in hiring?

Myth 1- Life Have a Passion For What They Do

Some doctors love being a doctor, some lawyers really believe in the importance of practicing the law. A good amount of people do their job simply for the money. Many life coaches are no different which is unfortunate, however should not be surprising. There are good apples in every batch just as there are bad or rotten apples. 

Personally I never saw myself being a life coach. I knew i gave great advice, but assumed I was supposed to be in the business world. I dint charge as much as other life coaches because my bigger reward is seeing results. There are many life coaches who approach the profession that way, however if you do a quick search you will notice many are doing it for the higher price tag.

Myth 2 – Life Coaches Are Experts on Life

No, just no. Many life coaches specialize in different topics but they don’t have all the answers on every topic. If they did, they would basically be God due to all the wisdom they would have. What many do know is what they have personally experienced.

So Life Coaches Can’t be Book Nerds?

You’re jumping the gun! I never said that, in fact I am personally a book nerd I read a chapter in 4 books of the Bible daily PLUS other stuff. I’ll show you what I’m reading after this section (Good stuff!). Being said, most life coaches don’t attend college or have any formal training (that is required by any prospective coach I hire). For me that’s important though as I mentioned I am studying for a Master’s in Human Counseling (literally a life coaching concentration) and plan on attaining licensure as a counselor within 3 years.

Education is a huge difference I have seen between counselors and life coaches. Although counselors/therapists provide help dealing with past struggles, they need an in depth understanding of the human mind and at a minimum a Bachelor degree to be licensed or certified in most states. Many life coaches do not even studying about coaching methods. In fact, they are uneducated consultants! We will touch on that shortly.

Experience is crucial, almost as much as knowledge! I have experience for example on living a full and vibrant life after addiction. I looked to people myself to help live a life after my I was sober for a while. I asked a counselor I was seeing how and they honestly told me they had ideas, but I would be better suited asking someone who had been there. I’m also divorced and have a beautiful relationship that I hope will lead to a life time. Either way, I take it one day at a time because my experiences have taught me the importance of doing that. Those same experiences have helped numerous clients thrive as well.

Hiring or picking a therapist who has little education versus one who holds a PHd wouldn’t make much sense. On the same line, you want a life coach, again, who has life experience. The life coach is educated too? I’d surely go for that one.

What About Life Coaching Certifications?

Those are really cute to hang on the wall. I have had, and currently have a few. ICF is the most reputable, and is a great board. However I can name 5 really good life coaches who let their certifications lapse and their business is doing just fine. Unlike other fields like therapy there is no governing board nor accountability board (like the BAR association for example), therefore there is very little need in the eyes of many coaches to keep up on continuing education credits.

I did a search initially for different life coaching certifications and was shocked at the results. You can literally pay a few companies and they will send you a life coaching certification. That’s all, priced from $35 (yeah…. literally) to $499 and voila you are literally a certified life coach. If that doesn’t bother you it really should. I have a solution for that! I’ll put 10 questions to ask your life coach below.

So Why Do People Go For a Life Coach certification than?

Well that’s an easy one to answer! One, because they have no idea that having the life coaching certification isn’t mandatory. Two because they want to spend a ton of money with ICF (kidding), but that really is it. Does it add credibility? I’ve personally been asked a few times if I had one and that is an extremely low percentage given the amount of life coaching clients I have had.

I can also answer on my behalf. I am a learner, I love everything about learning. Even the hard lessons, I appreciate how I can grow from them. For me it wasn’t necessarily the life coaching certification I was after, but the knowledge. I never got into life coaching for the money, ever. It’s great sure, but paper dollars have no weight to the gold I receive when I see people smiling because they overcame a massive hurdle or finally did something after years or decades of trying and knowing I was a part of it. That’s my reward.

I did get some really great knowledge when I became certified, and I was certified on a few different fronts. It was great for me, because I got ideas I could add to what I was already doing to help people even further.

Myth 3- Life Coaches Tell You What To Do

Typically no, I have an unorthodox approach myself. Although I do use coaching models, I combine a consultative and coaching approach. Sometimes I know where someone is going to end up if they follow particular trails, in those cases I have no issue letting that be known. As mentioned above, we typically try to pull the best out of you.

Most therapists I know don’t tell you what to do either. You know who does tell you what to do? Your boss. Aside from that I do not know any professional who does more than recommend. If you like being told what to do because you feel worth or valued, check out some of our articles on people pleasing or codependency.

The Value of Being Coached and Not Told

When you are being told what to do, psychologically you will receive little value outside of your paycheck unless you love your job or whatever you are doing. When you are being coached however, something magical happens. When you find a breakthrough we get to celebrate with you, not that you had the breakthrough but rather that you will almost surely feel an extreme sense of empowerment. Your answer came from you, you only used a life coach to help pull the information out! Do not discount that, I still feel a sense of pride when I find something out or accomplish something on my own.

Myth 4 – All Coaches Are The Same

((Sigh)) no. Although I cover a handful (I have big hands by the way) of different niches or specializations, I am different from someone who is a positive psychology coach. I simply haven’t taken a positive psychology course (yet, I read up on the concept constantly though). A business coach is most likely not a life coach and they probably wouldn’t try it.

On top of the different types of coaches, some life coaches will only consider using the GROW approach with clients. Some will only talk about a work-life balance. Different coaches are just like different types of doctors. A general practitioner will hand much more than a cardiac doctor for example. All coaches are not the same.

There are certain types of clients that some life coaches won’t work with. Some people only like working with male or female clients. Some life coaches will only work specifically with the elderly! As you guessed it there is a plethora of different groups some life coaches will only consider working with. That is a really good thing! Looking at myself for example, I respect people of other faiths however I would only work with a Christian if they came to try and improve their faith with Christ. Aside from going against the Bible, I have a belief system that mandates I stay true to what I believe is the truth.

So I Shouldn’t Just Hire Someone to do Life Coaching Near Me?

NO! I guess we haven’t touched on it, so we will focus our next section on that. Another myth or two I want to cover first.

Myth 5 – All Life Coaches Are Worth their Life Coaching Salary

Hopefully you can piece some of the information I gave you above to answer this question. First, most life coaches are hourly and do not have a salary. Occasionally firms will pay a salary but what gets a lot of people into doing a quick search for life coaching certifications online is that the earnings are potentially endless.

Remember, a certification isn’t necessary. That Nanny from Family Guy could literally become a life coach if she wanted to. You literally just have to say you are a life coach. I’ve discussed bringing people onboard as a per diem idea and they sounded great at first, however they had zero skills and I know they are practicing just not with us. One I hadn’t talked to personally but rather a client explained to me that she literally only asked how she was doing and was silent for the remaining 15 minutes. She was abruptly fired after the second session (why not the first? I’m not sure).

So to answer the question in terms of value, no, not all are worth paying their life coaching salary.

Myth 6 – Life Coaching Vs Therapy, Aren’t They the Same?

Nope, although I am planning on getting my license as mentioned previously they are similar but strikingly different. We will work with, and I do regularly, therapists however life coaching skills and therapy skills are different. That’s not the only difference, our goals in sessions are different!

In therapy, you and the therapist are working together to help you get past previous hurts. In life coaching, you are working with us to reach certain things. The line can be quite confusing and some life coaches I know of have gotten in trouble for crossing that line, and rightfully so as therapists have to undergo numerous hours in a clinical setting. That’s because some people are really close to the edge of a complete mental collapse, think of it like trusting a plumber to build your entire house.

Therapists help the past, life coaches help with the future.

Coach Jay (someone else has obviously said it, I just don’t know if anyone used those exact words. I digress)

That’s about all the myths we have, now we get to move onto some really important stuff!

What To Look For When Hiring a Life Coach and Questions to Ask

First things first, I mentioned about hiring life coaching near me (the fictitious question I gave you) and now we are going to cover that! So for the answer to “why can’t I just get life coaching near me?” You surely can, but you need a rundown on what to look for to get the best possible results right? And that starts with you! “Me?” Yes you, it will ultimately be your decision based on your preferences and I am going to help you know if you found the right coach!

Let’s Talk Money and Life Coaching

Some coaches, as we said, are only in it for the money. This is also an extremely competitive market. So let’s talk the dollar signs. Know what you can afford, if you find a coach you really like see if they are flexible in what they can do to help you.

I belong to numerous different mailing lists, magazines, and get a lot of SPAM. There is a very unnerving trend I have found going on in this industry and it relates to money. Coaches are basically promised that this career will help people retire in no time. There surely is room for 6 figure incomes (remember there will hardly ever be a life coaching salary), but encouraging someone with no practice to go out there and charge whatever they want per hour (it is suggested now you equal out to 4 sessions running upward of 5 figures – no joke).

I do not and will not allow any coaches here to engage in this. I set the prices, and they are not negotiable. We are not hurting for business at all, and although this is a passion of mine it is still business. In fact because of my approach we are able to give back. Occasionally it is in the form of discounted sessions (for special populations) or donating to Teen Challenge or food banks. Giving back is very important to me and if we reduced our worth, we wouldn’t be able to do as much as we do and so much more needs to be done to begin with!

What do I Ask? Ask your life coach how they can work with you financially. Look for honest answers as I gave above.

What Type of Clients Will They Not Work With?

As I mentioned, I will not work with everyone. It’s not practical nor is it wise because there are some areas I do not know at all or at most very little! You surely do not want me to be Little Suzie’s math homework coach (yes, those do exist), but if she wants to stop getting into trouble, I may engage in that.

A life coach cannot, again, and should not work with everyone who comes to their door. Their specialties are their specialties and what we do not know needs to be honestly made known. This can also happen during the session!

Ask Them How They Can Help You

Any reputable life coach is going to be sure of their abilities. But what about when it comes to you? Do they have any ideas they believe will work off the bat? Maybe, maybe not. However they should not be afraid to give you an idea of what they are thinking when asked as long as you are being reasonable.

What do I Ask? Asking questions like “why do you think this will work” can go a long way for you. If they stumble and seem like a deer in headlights, run. There is a real fear some have that if they say too much than you won’t need as many sessions – sounds a bit unethical, don’t you agree?

Why Do They Life Coach?

You’re not looking for a new roof here. I find this to be a pretty important question. For me, I choose to live on purpose. My purpose is to help people break free and fly forward. If they give you a 10 minute speech (I’m long winded, I could get a pass) they may not be answering honestly and could subconsciously be trying to justify something.

If they are in it for the money, ask them. If they are good at what they do (how do we know? The answer is coming shortly) then they’re probably worth being in it for the money. For me it’s similar to teachers who work to the rule in union settings. They probably won’t go the extra mile for you. You may get results, but the results could be better from someone who is doing life coaching as a purpose.

What do I Ask? Literally ask them why they became a life coach.

What is Their On-boarding Process Like?

I have a general form I have people fill out. It’s the best on the net if I do say so myself! Although you may come in because you feel like this one area is holding you back, that form allows me a bird’s eye view of what your entire life looks like. Most life coaches worth your business will follow a similar idea.

Also, I’m not in the business of tracking people down. I need my time paid for before the session, I don’t want to waste either of our time if I do not feel it to be a fit. Going over the questionnaire really helps me know if I can or want to get involved and then I explain the payment policy. Policies will most likely either be discussed during the first session (which I believe is a waste of your time being paid for) or you will be provided the information. Regardless, policies are just as important as on-boarding forms.

What do I Ask? Ask what the on-boarding process is like.

He he he, I Think I Like You

Awwww shucks, I’m glad. That’s also one of the most important things you need to uncover when you are going to be or are considering working with a life coach. Do you like the life coach/do you believe you can work with them? If you don’t like them or aren’t comfortable with them, you’re probably not going to open up to the life coach as much as you could and really should.

If after a few sessions you realize you don’t like the life coach, you can fire them. Will you get a refund? Who knows, I think you should personally but it is entirely up to them as it is their business.