Did you know THE BEST relationship advice is found in the Bible?! I’m not talking about the Song of Songs (although that does help with your…. intimate life). I promise I won’t will try not to be preachy, even though I am an assistant pastor. I also promise that you’re not up against much as far as “Keeping Up With The Jones'” as in an upcoming book (read my latest one here) you will see Christians are surely failing God left and right. I know many of you may not follow a Christian walk and I will respect that. Want to know what you’re going to find in this article beside the best relationship advice ever? You will find….
What You'll Find Here
The Best Relationship Advice Plus……
We will be nailing good relationship traits, that’s a no brainer. What makes a relationship stronger will also be found in this article! We will be hitting the lovey dovey type of relationships as well as the ones not with “your person”! It’s all coming out of the Bible (again, we will not make you explain the meaning of the verses in Song of Songs to your kiddos, no worries). You’ll see a LOT of stuff in here about what we shouldn’t do too.
We will use headings to break down the topics for easy reading! If you felt any impact at all in this, follow our page on Facebook! Or at least share us, but we do share some pretty good memes on the Book. Not so much on Twitter yet, but we’ll get there. Follow the video for this too! So without further adieu, let’s start going over the BEST relationship advice ever (or evah as we say it in New England).
Good Relationship Traits Starts With…
One of my favorite reminder verses as I call them is in James 2:14-26 and that passage of Scripture works around the importance of works going along with your faith! One of the ways I feel we are failing Christ is with “lip service faith” (haven’t heard anyone else coin it so I will). Lip service faith is where we say this or say that, we are we aren’t, but our actions (works) show it differently. This is a part of Scripture we can throw right in to our relationships. This truly is some of the best relationship advice we will find.
Has your wife/hubby ever given you a Hunny Do List (why do only guys seem to have these lists?!)? “Yeah yeah, I’ll get to it”. You may have a strong desire to do it, but if you haven’t. Normally after a mega blow up we always hear the “I’ll try this” or “I’ll do that” but is it just lip service? Granted change can take some time, especially with deep rooted habits or patterns, but you really should have something to show for your words or “change” (If you want help changing, this course can save you thousands of dollars in coaching or counseling/therapy fees – clients have already said that).
I’m using an accountability partner here in lieu of a friend because I don’t have any. JUST KIDDING. Regardless, a relationship is a relationship. My accountability partner, which if you ask me is really just an amazing friend, brought something to my attention. “Jay, you mentioned you want to do more for yourself but you can’t even remember the last thing you prayed for God to bless or help you with!” What brings me to that is because when I relapsed, my accountability partner (now my sponsor – again) was my sponsor.
We were doing the 4th step, I knew I could get sober if I got through this stuff! But I was skipping our Wednesday night meetings to work out the steps. Then at times I was too drunk to go, other times I left because I had to get drunk. He knew I had the ability to not only get sober, but recover.
What’s the last paragraph have to do with the best relationship advice? Well simply that he could push me, and could have more at times. I played a part, I had the belief he was wise enough to get in my head and I could get sober and recover with his help, but we both failed to put in that extra work, for me basically any work.
So what makes a relationship stronger? Putting in the work.
So we see that some of the best relationship advice you can get is to put in the work. Make the effort is another way of saying this. Look at your top relationships as far as trying. Do they have the top three people or organizations in your life? No? Well if you’re feeling inadequate in them maybe put in some effort. This can be the friend who bails last minute, the husband who uses lip service and shows no actions.
Do You Have the Time For Some of The Best Relationship Advice?
Some of the best relationship advice by far is related to our time. Biblically it is seen in any passage or fable where something big is about to go down. I’m not going to lie, I struggled a bit finding “the right” verse for this because, again, the Word is packed with the importance and benefits of spending time with God.
I can testify to the benefit and importance of spending time with God! I read 5 or 6 books (a chapter in each) every day after worship. If I don’t my day feels off. Even when I do spend time, where’s my heart? Occasionally it’s with my dog barking, sometimes it’s with the mess my animals made on the floor while they are doing their parquor or however it’s spelled.
Regardless, I’m wasting my time with God. When I am actually seeking him with all of my heart, lo and behold I feel that connectedness with Him (this is a breakdown of Jeremiah 29:13). The time is crucial because I need to give Him me, and when I’m distracted even if I read 30 pages in the Bible and pounded tons of Hillsong, I don’t feel like I’m there. Sometimes I’m just singing the Words, but I’m not singing to Him.
Two people, no three come to my mind. Okay a bunch. I’ve been around people where I’ve noticed the quality of the time we spend/spent. Sometimes I am on my phone and extremely distracted from them even though we made plans to hang out. Sometimes I have something I need to prepare for a sermon or video or whatever. I’m not invested in the time we spend. I’ll catch myself doing this and change course.
One time recently, I forget if it was before New Years, yeah it was. I hung out with a girl Tiffany who was going through something. Some of the best relationship advice I can give was exhibited through her. Nothing inappropriate at all happened. I was there as a friend when she needed one. I notice everything and they amount of detail to her making sure, even if she did it purposely or not, I knew she was “there” was incredible.
We went out for a smoke, well I went out and she said it was too cold so she hung in the bathroom and opened the window. We both wanted a butt, I forgot what I touched on but it hit a nerve or struck a cord. She opened the window and as I was walking through her kitchen talked louder until I got near the window. I watched as she talked to me and her kids, amazing and beautiful kids, and she would make eye contact and maintain it in a very comforting and intimate way with everyone she spoke with. Same with her roommate/ex.
She knew how to give and spend time. She gave that time spent and interaction quality as well. I remember hanging out like it was yesterday and it was only about 3 hours months ago! It was one of the more enjoyable times of my year.
How to make What makes a relationship stronger? Improving the quality of the time spent.
This is one of the strongest good relationship traits I can think of and in our society this is something missing. Time and the quality of our time, what makes this some of the best relationship advice is that we can see how impactful the time we give without distractions can be. Again, pretty Biblical as we see above!
How can we use this so that it makes a relationship stronger? A few different ways actually. When we are sitting at the dinner table (I’m just as guilty) let’s put our phones down. Especially if we are on a date with someone and are trying to catch up on lost time. The person we are with who we haven’t seen in about 4 months should be getting the time and quality of that time versus the notification that your duck lip picture got a new like or comment.
This is actually a huge issue in relationships. I’d wager closer to half of the couples I coach who are having this trouble are guilty of this. Either one party or both. And if someone is talking to you and you get distracted, let them know and apologize! This will help them know that you value their time and they may want to give you more of it! Easily one of the top good relationship traits you want to work on. Sometimes giving time can be tricky, right? This leads to more of the best relationship advice I’ll be giving you today, well perpetually but you get the hint.
Realizing Priorities Is Some of the Best Relationship Advice You Will Get!
And it surely will be some of the best relationship advice you will read!
Not only is that part of what makes a relationship stronger,
but your ability to prioritize is one of the most critical good relationship
traits you can put into practice.
Another one that is tough to find one specific verse or passage, priorities. But this one is a doozie! I received a lot of insight from a message Pastor Rick talked about. It was titled Give God Your Best Time. The more I read it, it didn’t fit with the previous portion of the best relationship advice, but here? Absolutely. Another aspect going into the next book, idolatry (queue the dun dun dun noises). Again, hands down some of the best relationship advice I can remotely consider giving.
This one is so important to God, He had Moses put it into the 10 Commandments! Idolatry, or putting something before God led to many issues for the Israelites and other tribes and city-states in ancient times. A lot of trouble! In fact, and we will hit this one in the next section, here’s the command itself: “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:2-3).
We got that from Life Hope and Truth, they have a really good breakdown of it here. God wants, and honestly deserves is beyond an understatement, to come first to us. Just like lip service above, this is important to God. Hey Christians, how did service go for you…. didn’t go? Too busy? “God knows I love Him.” It’s not only hurting him, and I believe it does, but you’re missing out from a message and community of evenly (as far as faith) yoked believers. Maybe you have that message for someone!
How is prioritizing people in your life one of the good relationship traits we are reading about?
How do you feel when you feel special? Special right? I hate how that reads but it’s the best my New Englander way of speaking could word it. I see/hear that A LOT in my relationship coaching sessions too. “I’m not a priority to you” and when I was actively abusing alcohol, I heard that from my special someone at the time.
Have your kids ever told you they want more time? Have your parents ever told you it would be nice if you came by more? A friend said to you they wondered if you would come by again? Those three question marks followed by words, should have just said questions, are where people are showing you they realize they are not a priority.
I would wager you know how that feels, and if you don’t try out a Celebrate Recovery Step Group and you’ll say “wow, I do get it!” because at some point the majority of people admit to feeling like they weren’t a priority. I had the potential for an incredible relationship with a wonderful woman named Katelyn, but I never felt like a priority. Eventually I stopped texting first and what hit me in the gut the most was “dang, I put alllll of the effort in”!
You know what happens when people don’t feel like a priority, aside from hurting inside? They develop resentments toward you or whatever you are busy with. How do I know? I read substantially about it and took that topic as a project for a Masters degree class. I wrote a ton about resentments here, and here, and here, and I’ll just add a tag for you to search soon. I know the topic well.
So how do we get to a point where people are not a priority in our life? Maybe that group video game online got you sucked in? Could it be the hours at work? Maybe you just want “your” free time without anyone around? Maybe you just need to pull your head out of your rear and notice the people around you?
We Have More of the BEST Relationship Advice Here!
“God let’s us walk all over Him, He doesn’t have boundaries!” I can see that, however I feel God is just showing the gifts of the Holy Spirit toward us, specifically long suffering. In this, God is showing I wouldn’t say hope but patience with us as well. Patience that we will repent from our sin, that we will be a light and look to Him, patience in His opportunity for the prodigal children to come back to Him. There’s a limit to His boundaries I believe. God wants us in HIS kingdom!
In the end times I believe post rapture you’ll have to show allegiance to the anti Christ. Once you do, your shot at Salvation and Heaven are gone. Poof. Once you take that mark, you’ll realize His boundaries after it is far too late. Don’t accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior? You won’ enter Heaven man. God has some easy boundaries to follow. If you’re living in sin, you may not get that answer to your prayer.
Remember the Boundaries Book series of Articles? Yeah, read them. Here’s a link for setting healthy boundaries. We have one here too for when it could be too late to set boundaries. 18 examples of healthy boundaries can be found here. Remember what poor boundaries look like? Find that article here. And here we have why personal boundaries are important.Why are Personal Boundaries Good for You? There’s More Than 1 Reason You’ll Certainly Want Them! I also went over why we need personal boundaries and I even started off with what personal boundaries are! Go re-read them, all the links open in a new window.
Communication is THE Best Relationship I Could Give You…
Hands down and by far the most important piece of any relationship advice. This is what makes a relationship stronger, communication. I won’t rewrite the Bible however I don’t think there is a more common theme presented. Literally in every chapter God is communicating with us. We see it throughout the Holy Word from Genesis through Revelation.
God makes clear how we approach Him. He let’s us know who He is. He tells us what He likes and doesn’t like. He tells us what He hates and loves. He tells us how to live and He tells us what to do in a variety of situations. He communicates with us when we are listening. Any aspect of anything relating to communication, is communicated with us through the Bible. This is the crux of the article, no attribute is more important in a loving relationship.
Good relationship traits don’t matter if communication is missing…
Communication is key in any relationship. It gives us guidelines to follow. How often do you and your partner sit and talk, just the two of you? This is when you guys get down to the nitty gritty! We will be doing a full fledged article on communication in a relationship soon. But there’s a big reason this is paramount in the Bible, because it literally sets the stage for a healthy relationship. Again, ythis concept is the best relationship advice anyone will ever get.
If you folks aren’t expressing what bothers you, what happens? You end up building resentments toward a person, place, or thing right? Suppose someone is getting really – I mean really – chummy with your spouse or significant other and it bothers you. “Well they should know it offends me.” HOW?! People do not have the ability to read minds unless you have a demonic gift (real and Biblical also). It’ll be assumed you are jealous, mad about something, or psycho. If people don’t know – they don’t know.
Although this is typically geared toward guys, it goes both ways. I lost a marriage over a lack of communication. I got engaged afterward and guess what, we broke up over a lack of communication. The last one tried, I was just busy throwing my pity party. Every single person but her knew. Rationally, how could she address what bothered me if she was unaware? I’m far from alone in this. I’ve been working heavily on my communication skills since before the split, it was too little too late. She made plenty of mistakes, but we couldn’t work on them as long as I kept the reasons hidden.
When friends upset us and we let them know, we are doing our part in communicating. Communication works in all relationships. If that friend discounts what you say and continues their behavior, maybe it’s time to let them know. If you keep doing blah blah around me I can’t spend time with you. There won’t be a need for closure, because they’d be aware the relationship is on the rocks.
This goes for your work relationships too! If you’re struggling to keep up, maybe let your boss know. Also I am a huge proponent for a 35 hour work week. And I am extremely pro small business. The more bureaucracy you have in your company, the tougher it is to understand what’s good and bad. You could also set yourself up for a great promotion, have an idea of how something could be done better? Let the manager know. These are only some of the ways communication can influence a strong and healthy relationship, or one that is hanging on by a thread.
Think You’re Set With Implementing The Best Relationship Advice?
It’s okay to be unsure. This is the best relationship advice and as you saw, it’s all pretty Biblical as well. We proved that the best relationship advice does in fact come from the Word of God. He is your first helper in my opinion. We are a solid runner up though! Give us a jingle and see how we can help you use the best relationship advice in your life and where you can improve. Unlike other coaches, we will give you ideas as well. Literally click the banner above.
What did you think about this? What do you think we missed? It was a long read, however I feel (and my test readers who are unpaid) believe this is hands down the best relationship advice on the web. Happy Valentines Day 2023 yall!
