That’s a really great question, “is life coaching worth it?” You will get YOUR clear answer in this article. The answer is yes, no, and maybe and that is as honest an answer as anyone could ever give or receive in regards to that question. Looking at the question again, is life coaching worth it we need to put quotations around the “it” aspect of the query. Why do we need to do that? Because the “it” opens doors to more than one viewpoint, what it are we talking about? Again, we are going to fully answer that question throughout this article.
Is life Coaching Worth It? No…
Let Me Tell You Yesterday (This is Not When You Want to Hire A Life Coach)
Is life coaching worth it? Let’s imagine the it being you interested in hiring a life coach to talk about your past. I would say without a doubt normally it is not worth it. There is only so much a life coach can do when it comes to discussing your past, because they are not equipped (normally) to do that!
If you want to hire a life coach, you should do so when you are trying to move forward. As I mentioned in our “Life Coaching” article that really breaks down what life coaching is I mentioned we help in a forward moving sense. Life coaches are not therapists. Therapists, albeit some life coaches, do have the proper training and education to help you.
Is it Worth it to Hire a Life Coach to Tell Me What To Do?
Negative, this is where you want a consultant. Personally I mix the two together very effectively, I was a consultant/advisor and I am also a pretty highly sought after Christian life coach. A consultant or advisor are brought in to literally do that. A coach, life coach or mindset coach, mainly bring the best out of you. I personally feel a sense of obligation to make more recommendations that the average coach, but I cannot tell you how to completely live your life. No life coach or even consultant can do that! Just like there is a difference between life coaches and therapists, consulting and life coaching are also different creatures.
Part of the beauty of coaching is the empowerment you get. A lot of the ideas and goals that, or at least should, come out of a coaching session come from you. I’ve seen too many times to count where ther coachee (that’s you) mentions something after my probing that is monumental for them. There’s a few reasons for this empowerment also:
Sometimes coachees aren’t as open with us as they should be. We don’t walk in your shoes, we can’t fully understand the impact a decision would have on you! The probing questions bring up things you may not normally have considered
All of these shine light toward the importance of coaching versus consulting or telling you what to do.
Is Life Coaching Worth It? Maybe….
What does the word maybe have in it (it being the word itself)? That’s an important question to ask yourself when pondering the question of is life coaching worth it. If you are completely unsure where you want to go, is hiring a life coach worth it starts to shift toward a no. If you are stuck between maybe 4 different avenues, then is hiring a life coach worth it shoots up to an easy yes.
The maybe answer comes to that question, is life coaching worth it with another dilemma. Are you willing to put in the work of make changes. If that answer is a maybe, then maybe is life coaching worth it becomes a nope again. If your willingness hinges on the scope of the actions or changes your really need to consider how much this change is worth to you. If it’s worth a lot, then absolutely will “is life coaching worth it” become a resounding yes.
Is Life Coaching Worth It? Absolutely YES!
Is Life Coaching Worth It? The Final Answer Before You Hire a Life Coach.
Is hiring a life coach worth it? Is life coaching worth it? Yes, it absolutely is if…..
You want more than “what do I do next” (and if you don’t you have to find out if the individual is the right one before you hire a life coach. As I said above, some life coaches like myself can mix advising and coaching. Most unfortunately do not have the experience to do that.
Is life coaching worth it becomes a heck yes if you are willing to follow through on your plan. If you’re not, you need to consider your motivation and whether or not your desire to hire a life coach is basically an impulse you’re feeling.
If you are ready for change and want more than a motivational speaker the answer to “is life coaching worth it” is a slam dunk yes. This is where most coaches shine! If you want to change and are excited or even anxious about it than you surely would want to hire a life coach. Motivational speeches or speaking could be part of the sessions, but that is more along the lines of an accountability partner. Coaches will do their best to pep you up and encourage you, but motivational speaking is left normally for the coaches who literally do that.
In the end, “is life coaching worth it?” is a question that only you have an answer to. Don’t forget, aside from life coaches there are other coaches too! Read about the many different types of coaches over here. If you have any other questions before you go and hire a life coach feel free to list them below and we will be sure to answer you!
In our introductory article about of the Boundaries Book segment which you can read here, we discussed the need for healthy boundaries. What’s interesting about this topic is that healthy boundaries in a relationship are deeper than simply referring to intimate relationships! Just like healthy relationships such as in your love life are important, equally as are professional boundaries important!
In the intro article for the Boundaries Book, I mentioned a healthy boundary for my dog was basically the back yard. It keeps her contained and safe from dogs that would most likely eat her alive, as well as preventing her from running into the street. Healthy boundaries are incredibly important for people recovering from addiction.
We can look at, without getting political because this isn’t the place for it if you leave a comment, healthy boundaries from a world view. Look at almost any country in the Middle East, Afghanistan would probably be a good example compared to the United States and we can see the benefits of healthy boundaries in a relationship with a bigger picture.
Although Afghanistan is a country, I wouldn’t dream of calling it a sovereign nation. There are war lords that run rampant and they have extremely porous borders. Although the citizens are typically nice from what I have heard, a lot of people (terrorists) who want to do harm across the globe like the area – because their boundaries are almost non existent. I’m assuming they have some form of boundaries but I have never, nor will I ever, been there.
Although the borders are more porous than they have been in recent times, the United States is an example of a sovereign nation with mostly secured borders. Shortly after the 2001 attacks by terrorists there was another individual who tried to enter the country through I believe it was Vancouver up in Canada. They had bombs or bomb making material and were trying to enter the United States. Their attempt failed. Along with Homeland Security, our borders also helped to thwart their attack.
So if we look at the healthy versus unhealthy borders, we can actually see how we can relate healthy boundaries to them and their effects. With healthy boundaries, we have more of a sense of self. Some people call it their inner peace commonly and we can see how protecting that peace is important. If the terrorists were to attack a city, picture your heart as the city, it would cause harm. Your emotional well being is their cities. The attacks would damage your sense of self. With the stronger borders, the healthy boundaries, although an attack could still occur it would be tougher.
Knowing who you are and what you need to protect is where you start. Healthy boundaries in a relationship can, and should, secure your past experiences. For years I had issues getting close to people, because of an early trauma where my “Grammy” died. If they were late, “missing in action”, or had lied I would snap and act completely inappropriately. This looked like severe physical attacks on males or purposely seeking out someone to have sexual relationships with that wasn’t my partner simply to get back at them. Nobody is perfect, myself included, however I also did not have healthy boundaries!
Healthy Boundaries Allow YOU to Decide How You Want to be Treated
There realistically is not much I could have done when I acted that way, because I had no idea why I did until I began opening up very slowly to people I was intimate with. I took loss of life hard, which being a former gang member was tough because it is expected that we would end up in a jail cell or coffin. I had to really get to know myself and face what bothered me so severely. One day I found out when it just clicked and a therapist told me where my temper came from. That was followed by a desk being thrown at him for even bringing it up. He was right!
Healthy boundaries, as I mentioned above, come from our experience as a human. Even after we resolve traumatic issues, these healthy boundaries act as a force field where we get a say in how we are treated. Healthy boundaries would have been an expectation of other people. No matter how bad something could be, tell me the truth is something I should have said. If you’re not going to be on time regardless of why, or if you needed space I should have told them to let me know.
For you, a healthy boundary can look like nearly anything – because I don’t know you yet. However, when you establish healthy boundaries it is extremely important to ensure they do not get crossed. When I established my healthy boundaries with people, I unfairly gave them a one and done chance – even if they had no clue what the newly formed healthy boundary was.
When you set your healthy boundaries, and if you want to change how you feel due to actions by others essentially, you need to set rules. If someone constantly keeps crossing your boundary, even if they are just skirting around the edge, you have to put a stop to it. If you don’t like them talking with a new girl, assuming you are in an intimate relationship with them, and they continue to do so they are in essence dictating to you how you will be treated. You don’t deserve that and it takes away from your person- hood.
You Live Life MORE On Your Terms With Healthy Boundaries
Again no politics, our country and inside its borders is known as a source of freedom. Many people rush to America because we are safe, provide generally a better quality of life, and also offer a better chance of “success” in a general sense of the word which equates to education as well as prosperity. Healthy boundaries for you can provide similar benefits!
Have you ever been egged into something that you wasted time on for ages? For me I have had my share of things I have gotten into against better judgement, or desire. I’m willing to bet you can relate. Have you, as a parent, ever allowed your children to hang around with someone or a group you were sketchy towards only to be proven right? But your child wanted it, and you wanted them happy. You can’t make a better yesterday, however you can learn from it with healthy boundaries and begin to create a much better tomorrow.
There was a group I was always hanging out with, to me they were my friends, and my mother had no issue with me going out with them. Or so I thought, I was told that she and my sister both had an issue with a few people in particular. Against her better judgement, she allowed me to hang out with my best friends both before I was 18 and after because she felt she didn’t have a say. Honestly, until I was about 25 I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway.
One of those “friends” was a high ranking gang member alongside me and I had a lot of respect for him. We both adhered to the code of the streets – death before dishonor, and no “snitching”. After we were stopped in a park around 11 PM we were taken out of the vehicle and a large amount of narcotics and weapons were seized. I didn’t have to tell the police it was his, they already knew! However, he had no issue pointing blame at me.
I will put zero blame on my mother, however healthy boundaries could have looked like “if you go with him, you’re not coming home.” She could have followed that up with a “and this is why.” We can not make a better yesterday. When I speak with my parents rarely about my past, they do wish they had enforced healthy boundaries and reached out to more people.
The other friendship resulted in a raid on our house looking for multiple firearms. My parents had to pay the price for my actions, not with DCF or their own arrests (the police didn’t bother to look in the yard) but regret for not placing healthy boundaries around me, and themselves. Another acquaintance stole from my dad’s wallet (he later paid back what he stole and much more physically and financially) while he was asleep. They hated that individual in particular.
Healthy boundaries can look like much more, that can actually deal directly to your joy or contentedness with life, as well as stress. Do you feel bad telling people at work “no”? Are you stuck at a job because you feel bad for other people? That is extremely admirable, however you’re far likely to start pouring from an empty cup and most likely will end with resentments. I
In life, people are always going to rely on us. When we have healthy boundaries we are able to help when we are able without causing ourselves stress, resentments, and other negative emotions. Your setting and enforcing healthy boundaries are where you will start to take back some of your freedom.
Healthy boundaries allow us to say no far easier and without guilt or shame. We may be led to feel guilty or shameful and in those cases the “guilt trip” shows a lack of respect for your boundaries! You’re willing to cause stress in your own, single life whereas the individual who relies on you shows little to no respect for your healthy boundaries and decisions.
Healthy Boundaries Allow For Better Choices For Your Health and Well-Being
This one hits home for me personally and allows me to see my growth in a few areas. I was very attracted to the mind and body of a woman a few months ago, probably around March of 2022. We agreed to go out on a date, as I am not bringing women to my house until we are very committed and have plans of moving the relationship forward. We dated a few times. She was well aware I was an alcoholic who had a good amount of sober time leading up to one crucial night.
Her brother was playing one of those “pretend we are those people” type of band where they play – very well – a famous artists songs. I forgot what you call that band and pretend wasn’t proper to use there. As I digress, she invited me to go. As I arrived at the location I sent her a text and asked her if she was aware she invited me to a bar. She answered she did know and didn’t think it was a problem so long as I didn’t drink.
Even to this day, I am not at a place where I see any need to frequent a bar. I left and thanked her for her brief companionship but that we were best off to end it then and there.
Years ago, before I began developing healthy boundaries, I would have probably went in. She was a fantastic woman, very witty and a pleasure to be around. She didn’t respect my healthy boundaries enough to ask if going to a bar would be a problem. Maybe for you there is a diet you have to stick to and people constantly invite you out to eat. That is well and great however, for me at least, aren’t so many times you want to spend $16 on a salad before you say enough?
Although often times healthy boundaries are not life and death, they very well can be. I am completely convinced I am going to die if I drink again. Maybe not instantly, however addiction is extremely progressive and not something I am willing to chance again. This can be dealing with stress in a relationship, or a job as I mentioned above. I firmly believe stress and anxiety are secret killers as they have been shown to contribute to heart disease.
Negative emotions have the potential to kill you. Healthy boundaries have a much better chance to be preventative measures. This is incredibly important for people who have suffered PTSD in relationships! Healthy boundaries will let you know when to say no. Saying no can potentially save you having to put in the work you already have to get better.
Setting healthy boundaries and your health are tough. I have met many people who are addicted to a variety of things yet they had no idea. As I coach them I ask numerous hypothetical questions based around their healthy boundaries. Many times, and I see it regularly while coaching, we have no idea how many ways we could get hit with something. Making life changes should almost have a “prerequisite” of setting healthy personal boundaries!
Let’s Look at a Quick Example of Healthy Boundaries
Look at those two pictures for a little bit. Times up, somewhat kidding, however I will attempt to show how they can look very similar to healthy boundaries as well as unhealthy boundaries. I won’t take much time on this, however I felt this to be a great contrast on the positive and negative healthy boundaries.
The image on the left is an example of bad personal boundaries. The fence looks like it offers some form of security, people will have to be careful getting in. However once they are in, it looks like they have free reign to an entire pasture right? Can you see how it may be difficult if they are running around, trying to catch them and get them back out? Even if you did, they are probably able to cut somewhere down the line and re-enter, right?
Look at the fence on the right now, this is our example of positive healthy boundaries. Compared to the image on the left this one looks like it’s very tough to penetrate. That’s the point, people may try and turn around instead of risking an attempt at sneaking in! Even if they were brave enough to try and get in, they will probably be swarmed by guards and immediately escorted. With this fence, or positive healthy boundaries, they have a much lower chance at sneaking in and causing damage or chaos!
Draw your own analogy around those two fences, make sure you are considering healthy boundaries as well as negatively healthy boundaries. Do you see the difference between having, and not having, healthy boundaries?
Having Healthy Boundaries Can Feel Absolutely Liberating!
Healthy boundaries, especially if you have gone a long time with out them, can eventually feel extremely freeing and liberating. When you consider the fact that you are able to help someone, however also have the ability to maintain your peace and tranquility you should feel empowered. When does that empowered feeling come after you set healthy boundaries? For me it was after saying no.
If you are in a relationship, children or friends, spouse or “special friend you will most likely find resistance after you set what you believe to be healthy boundaries for yourself. I did with a few different relationships.
I also had someone throw their healthy boundary around me when I was causing them issues! That hit me like a sack of bricks, however I was taking them down a bad path in their sobriety. I wasn’t anywhere close to being in recovery however made it seem like I did, until I was in meetings with slurred speech. He lovingly told me he didn’t want me to call him if I had began drinking but rather before and that that was what he was there for.
He explained that although I was an imposing figure, and surely gave him an attitude (which I don’t remember as I began blacking out after the call) he had to. I was affecting his attitude at home, his desire to be a sponsor, and his views toward me. He has the upmost respect for me, when I’m sober, and after discussing it have maintained a very close friendship still. In fact I call him roughly 5 times a week!
Setting healthy boundaries was freeing for him. I am quite sure it will be for you also. Give them a shot! Contact us here and we will see how we can help you! Also, take our flag ship course Lasting Change and thank us later, you can access that and the discounted rates on our coaching services here.
In layman’s terms, a codependent relationship is a crappy relationship that will leave you feeling nervous, empty, and not happy. Another way to describe this type of red flag relationship is that it typically contains a giver and a taker. They can start very subtly and grow into a beast that can be tough to see, but there are ways out! So how do we figure out if we are in one? We have a list below with 10 “symptoms”. And also a quiz that can be taken here.
In a Codependent Relationship You Don’t Matter!
To everyone else you may, but to you they come before first. Way before you. In fact if you are the giver, you probably can’t afford to offer yourself self care (say that 10 times fast). It is extremely common to feel good when the taker is happy, it is also common for you to feel extremely guilty when you find yourself enjoying yourself. What is really scary about this symptom of a codependent relationship is that eventually you begin trying to pour from an empty cup.
It’s An Extremely One Sided Relationship. A One Sided Codependent Relationship
I sort of hinted in the opening paragraph about this one. It’s possible to have two codependent people in a relationship, however a giver and taker are more common. This symptoms has one person being a harder worker, picking up the slack for someone without necessarily realizing it. For example, the giver works all day and comes home and does whatever they asked the taker to do. There may be resentment, but typically nothing is said.
“I have to Save Them… From Themselves!”
This is where the giver acts more like a caregiver than a friend or significant other. What are you saving them from? It could be their addiction, it could be their anger also, do they “not do things” right in your eyes and you have to help them? You can feel like you want their “issues” to be solved more than anyone, including themselves! At the end of the day it is entirely up to them to create a lasting change. That includes all of their flaws, addictions, and whatever else is wrong for them. If you’re the sole care taker for them and they keep making the same mistakes you my friend are in a codependent relationship.
You’re The Potter, They’re The Clay
This sign of a codependent relationship is extremely unhealthy. If you were someone else looking at it, you would probably even say “they don’t even really love them because they are trying to change them!” This is where the idea of the potter and the clay come in. You have them in this heap and you are constantly trying to adjust and decorate them so they become more of your dream person.
Take It Easy? Get Out of Here With That Evil Talk!
Similar, all of these traits are if you think about it, to another symptom of a codependent relationship this focuses on your selfishness. Do you feel off when you’re taking care of them? Asked in another way, when you’re by yourself with your feet in grass at a park or in a stream do you feel selfish for not doing something for them? Doing what? Well you should be doing something for them instead of taking care of yourself, right?
“Feeling excessive guilt for doing anything for yourself is another major characteristic,”
Dr. Derrig
How Do You Feel About Your Relationship? Well That’s a Tricky Question…
Do you find it tough to realize what is tough and what is glorious in your relationship? Is it a relationship where you have mixed feelings or emotions about, well all of it? Reflection is a beautiful and powerful tool we can use in life, and we thoroughly encourage it when we are engaged in mindset coaching. When you’re in a codependent relationship you find yourself more worried about their feelings than yours. The next one is a huge sign. Look at it after this picture break.
She is probably the most codependent “person” I know. She’s a sweetheart though.
Where Are They? I’m About to Freak Out!
One of the most common signs of a codependent relationship is feeling sick, worried, nervous, or that the world is going to fall apart if you haven’t heard from them. Have they read your message is a thought you wonder constantly, are they okay?! They must be doing something wrong or they could be in trouble. Quickly to the Stress Mobile to go and rescue them! Is that how it goes in your head? This is a symptom that you are in a codependent relationship. “Why am I like this?!” Well, it’s become you have probably become dependent on them, hence the term codependent relationship.
There’s Nobody Here!
Another sign you have entered or helped to create a codependent relationship is that you have trouble being alone. This can be either from the taker of the relationship or the fact you literally can’t care (read it as self care) for yourself. This is extremely common and a potential root cause has been from over-involved or under-involved parents when you were a little drool tot yourself. When you’re alone, you can’t put your focus into someone else and that bothers you.
I Can’t Make It Fred Has 5 Minutes Off in 5 Hours so I have to Be Available
If you are routinely cancelling plans because you need to spend time with your partner or whoever is the taker you are in a what? A codependent relationship, great guess! You may cancel plans with your family or other things, even attending a concert you were really looking forward to! Again, this is another red flag relationship symptom.
Your Home Isn’t Your Home
Did you ever redecorate something to make it more like home, for someone else? There is nothing wrong at all with making someone feel comfortable in your house, the difficulty comes when you make it all theirs. Here’s a tip if you get really down the second they leave, reorganize a small itty bitty section so that it feels more like “yours” when they aren’t there.
“I Hate to Bug You But… Nevermind, I’m Sorry”
Hate speaking up and voicing your opinion to them? You don’t feel like you are intimidated by them, but you need them happy and speaking up, well you may hear something you do not want to. Did I nail this one in your relationship? If so, let’s talk. This one hits home and even until somewhat recently maybe a year ago I was personally stuck here. I’m not anymore and that makes me feel tremendously free. In this symptom/sign of a codependent relationship you’re literally pushing your feelings aside and not giving them a chance to be validated. Guess what…. YOU have valid feelings!
The Big One…. B-B-B-Boundaries.. YIKES!
You finally get the guts and smallest sense of self worth to speak up and place boundaries, but they spiral out of control! The taker loses their crap, right? Setting up boundaries is going to be different and potentially scary for anyone involved. It’s different, right? It’s uncomfortable and they may feel like you are almost taking away from them! Welcome to the pain of a codependent relationship.
How Can We (Maybe) Save a Codependent Relationship?
I am really strict (read also being adamant) about my boundaries being respected, but in the beginning it was tough. When I took a step back and saw the pains and hell of a codependent relationship, I became aware that the negatives outweighed the positives. Most of the list I can easily relate to. I took some time for myself and I started to flourish. We had a very good patch after, but my biggest change was realizing I didn’t need her. I wanted her. I needed God first and foremost! I mean, He did save me from severe alcoholism.. Anywho there’s my mini testimonial. If the relationship was to be saved, how would we do it? Let’s look at the condensed list below, or you can jump into the Lasting Change Course we created! People are loving it and there’s amazing discounts that go along with it! Grab it right here, you won’t regret it!
Can it be Saved? Here’s The List!
Get UNBIASED (incredibly important) OUTSIDE perspective and CONSIDER that insight
Work on it together, do all parties want a healthy relationship? Get to working on it!
How is your value system doing these days? MAKE time to reflect – this is healthy and something we NEED to do in life! No guilt about it either.
Look at your earliest relationships, has this been a common trend?
Agree on the healthy boundaries! (Coach Jay is a beast at this when used as a “referee”), set them, and work on them! Do not expect perfection overnight
Be dedicated to the process of healing your codependent relationship.
Allow the giver to take. If the taker is reading this, be comfortable giving a little.
We all have feelings, EXPRESS THEM and when you get them toward you, ask for explanation when you are not sure!
Realize you are in a codependent relationship and you want it fixed!
Should I Leave?
If it is obscenely abusive emotionally or mentally, yes. If it’s physical GET OUT OF THERE! Those are literally the signs.
I Am In A Codependent Relationship, What do I do Now?!
There are a few things you can do. Get cracking on the “Can I Save it List”. Grab a consultation with us, explain the situation and we will help you work out a plan to get it done. If it’s safe (important consideration) for your physical safety, sign up for our Relationship Coaching and we will get through this together! Realize this is a process and there has to be change and take advantage of our course at it’s low price that you can use again and again and again! Grab the Guided Steps Lasting Change Course Here.
Realize This…
You matter, you have feelings, you have opinions, you have ideas. You have this ONE life and it is not too late to start turning it around NOW. The power is in your hands to change. Start believing in yourself because I sure believe in you. It’s time to stop the codependent relationship and enjoy a fruit bearing, mutually beneficial, and exciting relationship!
Anxiety relief is not talked about nearly as much as it should be. I’ll start by saying anyone can do this! But if you can barely make it out the door without freaking out, you need a therapist and that’s okay. Therapy has this stigma about it that you’re a nut job if you go, that’s not the case. Some people have issues that need monitored care, we are all people and handle things differently! I’m also going to quickly plug our new course which people are LOVING called Lasting Change – no anxiety with that course!
This post was inspired by an absolutely gorgeous woman inside and out, she really should be considered for sainthood when she kicks, and she got me thinking about anxiety relief. Then it hit me that most of my friends and loved ones have some issue with anxiety! I mean, I’m anxious to see if people will wisen up in two years when it’s election time, but no politics. So without further delay let’s check out how guided imagery and deep breathing can help with anxiety relief and I bet you’ll agree they are some pretty dandy anxiety relief tips!
What is Deep Breathing and Does it Really Help With Anxiety Relief?
What does deep breathing sound like it is? It’s exactly that, and I have been practicing it for over a decade now. Deep breathing is also known as intentional breathing “deep”ending (see what I did there?) on who you speak with, their vernacular, as well as their level of geekiness. I’m a moderate geek so I go with deep breathing, also some people who rank very high up on the geek scale will call it diaphragmatic breathing. It’s something you can do literally anywhere, however one thing to watch out for is dizziness! I tried this once in traffic and felt extremely odd, but that passes.
What we are doing with deep breathing is we are inhaling through our nose slowly, holding it in our now full lungs, and breathing out slowly. Sit in a comfortable chair and do this, or lay down. I have an easier time falling asleep when I do this laying down. Not only is this great to do for relieving stress and anxiety, it has the possibility of having some physical benefits too. Some worth noting are potentially stabilizing blood pressure and slowing down your heart rate. Pretty nifty right?
Guided Imagery is What Exactly, and How Do Mental Pictures Help With Anxiety Relief?
This is a really cool exercise to do and trust me, it helps – big time! In fact I know people who could be having a meltdown, take a fast break by jumping into some guided imagery and come back on fire. Not literally because then I wouldn’t explain it to you. This takes your entire imagination and can eventually have you using all five senses at once. I will listen to Gregorian chants or something like that when doing this, but you can really do it anywhere with any type of music although I would recommend a soothing violin playing versus Janis Joplin.
Isn’t This Against Christianity?
It absolutely is not, I picture myself in Christs presence all the time when I am doing this. Occasionally I will picture myself preaching to someone. I go to my happy place mentally when I do this. You can get in trouble if you have naughty thoughts going through your mind, but that’s between you and God. For me focusing on God is the best form of anxiety relief around.
Guided Imagery and Deep Breathing in Action Providing You With Anxiety Relief
Going back to the woman who inspired this post she likes beautiful things.So here’s what we will do, imagine there’s a harp playing softly. There’s a window open to rolling green field with mountains in the back drop. You are near an open window. In the window are freshly cut lilacs filling the room with their scent. As you deeply breath in, you smell them. Breath a little deeper and hold their aroma in your lungs. Slowly breathing out. As you’re breathing out, the anxiety is fighting to stay. But it’s having trouble staying as it is trapped in each breath you hold in. As you slowly exhale the Holy Spirit guides your anxiety out, more each time you exhale. As you watch out the window you see a bird land on your window sill. It takes a peaceful poo and flies away. With each gentle breeze you feel the warmth of the sun hitting your face as the smell of the lilacs become stronger. As you feel relaxed, you tell yourself that everything is okay and you will go share this post now.
Mindset Coaching Versus Life Coaching: Is it all the same?
Mindset coaching is often characterized as being the same as life coaching, however that’s not really the case at all. Think of the two as a diagram of the human body and each body is an area of coaching. Life coaching would cover from the top of the head to the bottom of the feet whereas mindset coaching is only the head. That’s not to take away from the importance of mindset coaching at all. In fact our mindset controls our perception, this is how we decide if the glass is half full, half empty, or that we’ve already enjoyed half of it.
Here’s where it gets confusing, a life coach can surely do mindset coaching, but a mindset coach may no do life coaching. Although a coach can practice in numerous areas and be highly successful at getting results, mindset coaches typically focus on… well the mind. In fact some coaches go as far as studying hypnotherapy for decades. If you’re in to that, it could help! We have seen too many negative results, albeit there are positive results we have seen, to even consider it. There are a variety of different forms and approaches that they use and undergo extra training on, as a few of us have.
From here out, most of this article is going to focus on mindset coaches unless there’s a need. It was important to clear that up though…
So what does a mindset coach help with aside from just saying the obvious “mind” aspects?
Glad you asked, different coaches will say different things however there is a general consensus of areas the mindset coach generally will find high levels of success. Instead of saying the mind, let’s say they focus on thoughts, how you think, and coach you toward seeing things differently. That’s not all, look at this handy list below:
Self confidence
Self perception
Motivating yourself
Decluttering your mind
Facing your fears
And general awareness and consciousness
Unlike traditional coaches, a mindset coach may talk to you more than ask you questions and that’s because they are more of what’s known as an “instruction” type of coach.
Want to try an exercise on your own?
Because we have been around for millenniums I probably did not think this up myself, however I have not seen it played or mentioned myself yet. It is similar to our Wheel of Life where you get to see your results in front of you! I’ve made this into a mindset coaching game:
2 Players (You and someone else)
A notepad & Pen
A good unique story based around one of the following:
A goal you want to achieve
A day in your daily life
A realistic story about a dream you have
Even if it doesn’t sound fun yet, you can make anything fun. This story needs a beginning, middle and end. You are the narrator! In the story you are like one of those little block figures in Minecraft being guided around. There will be a beginning, middle, and end. Just like a real story. What was it like in the beginning? You need 2 small, but realistic problems you will face and one big obstacle! The problems have to be explained as well as the obstacle including if you got around it or not. Then an ending.
The other person is going to ask questions surrounding your problem BUT has to put their hand up! The questions have to be realistic as well, relating to the problems OR the actions of the guided you. They also have to write down your positive words and phrases used (can, was able to, etc) as well as your negative words and phrases used! DO NOT try for a score, it will defeat the purpose of the game which is to see where you are as far as a natural positive or negative mindset! A positive word/phrase is worth a point, a negative word deducts a point. At the end, check out your score.
What’s The benefit of this game again?
You get to spend some quality time with a loved one or trusted friend instead of a mindset coach. You get to see how your mindset works positively or negatively by nature. Again, do not try for a score! This is a free mindset coaching game I have used and the results were pretty neat!
