Tag: mindset exercises

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Mindset Coaching Relationship Coaching

10 Ways You Can Use to Unlock the Ability to Let Go of Resentment Starting Now!

positive quotes recovery quotes emotional quotes

Want to Let Go of Resentment? Start Here and Read to the End!

So we covered in depth how to get rid of resentment, how to handle resentment against someone, now we are going to discuss how to let go of resentment. It will be a bit of a read, I also included a table of content feature so we can have longer articles instead of just more articles!

If we want to let go of resentment, we have probably got to change some of our faults and habits, including our ways of seeing things and perception. The easiest path (because we have a path we set for you!) to changing a habit is with our Lasting Change product! There will take some work as we discussed previously that habits can be tricky to change.

Let Go of Resentment By Saying Adios to Yesterday

We have 11 different ways to let go of resentment. The first one is something that is discussed a lot in recovery circles. It is the fact that we cannot make a better yesterday. I can testify to the freedom of not living in yesterday anymore! It held me back and kept me stuck in a circle of the same behaviors because I was either trying to change, or mad (because I knew I couldn’t) change yesterday. When doing my steps through Celebrate Recovery Step Program, I was able to let go of resentment. It was painful, sure. But it takes work to get ahead.

Part of the freedom I found when I let go of resentment was I had moments of joy and beauty. I explained to my accountability team that I wanted to find joy. They explained that I was trying to do God’s job when I kept things a secret and would try to alter yesterday’s outcomes today. If I wanted to let go of resentment, I had to let go of yesterday. Not forget about it, but allow my journey to continue by moving on.

Let Go of Resentment by Accepting it is a State of Mind!

What’s an emotion? It’s a feeling. Anger is a feeling, however being angry or jealous are states of mind. Once you accept that your anger is controlling you, do the whatever resentment you want to let go of, you can slowly move toward recovering or being able to let go of resentment towards whatever it is bugging you.

resentment in a relationship

I’ll chime in and relate again. I was angry, can’t find much joy or peace when you are angry. I had no desire to let go of resentment against someone because I was comfortable – not happy – with my circle of chaos. Or so I thought, I was also drinking alcohol like a fish. I was literally stuck!

I found that cutting lose things that made me angry, like finally letting go of things out of my control, I became more and more joyful. I realized my poor state of mind was just that, and that was something I had control of. I wasn’t an angry person by nature, I chose to let myself stay angry!

Forgiveness is a Way to Let Go of Resentment Also!

I know people who hold grudges, even just the mention of someone’s name can send them up the wall! It literally changes their demeanor instantly. Imagine someone cracking up laughing and instantly looking at you with those “if looks could kill” eyes, that’s basically what their grudge gives them. It’s not hurting the other person though. Let go of resentment by practicing forgiveness.

If You Want to Let Go of Resentment You May Have to Look Inside Also..

Forgiving someone who you hold a resentment against does little for them. It frees you from the bondage of anger, maybe regret, and other nasty feelings, emotions, and states of mind we do not want to find our self in. But what about forgiving yourself?

This was actually one of my biggest struggles before I suffered a severe and long term relapse in 2018. It was also a major reason for the relapse. I was always mad and down on myself, but I never offered myself forgiveness for things I couldn’t change! I make mistakes occasionally still, but I resolve them as fast as possible. You should too.

Let Go of Resentment by Embracing Boundaries

These are tough, but not impossible especially if you use our Lasting Change method, to set in current relationships. However, by setting boundaries you increase the possibility of being able to let go of resentment because it has a lower chance to occur!

Setting boundaries are never fun, but they can be healthy protective nets for you. I have had to set some in life, in fact many. It hurts when someone runs into them and tries to get past them, because they have to go afterward. They no longer can have whatever place it was in my life because even if I choose to include them, they have a short leash. We will talk about boundaries on here before you know it.

Being a Life Coach in Massachusetts I have seen a ton of people needing boundary work! It’s almost like we have an epidemic of people with no boundaries. Without getting political, look at how kids learn the world revolves around them at an early age.

Let Go of Resentment by Looking at a Scar?

Yepper pepper pal! You can in fact let go of resentment by looking at your scars. They may be internal scars, but this is where you can use reflection! Reflection is an incredible tool that I will never encourage people to do enough! If you want to let go of resentment, reflection specifically on your scars can help. Maybe not so much how they got there, but realize how the source of those scars helped you to grow!

Let Go of Resentment With One of my Favorites!

A perspective shift could be just what you need to let go of resentment for good (eventually). Mindset, I’ve talked about at home mindset coaching techniques and such a few times and that is because I love the power of our minds! It can want us to stay in bed as we battle depression, or force us to get up because we are done losing and it’s our turn.

That leaves me with a question, can resentment cause depression? I am going to research the living daylights out of that soon. You know what’s funny, a few years ago I would have been mad at myself for not saying of course it can! I operate on researched facts though, that’s my motus operandi or whatever it is called. That also shows my shift in mindset.

Shifting your perspectives or mindset are not easy. It may feel like a battle you can’t win, but if you want to win the battle of letting go of resentment you have to put the work in. Take it day by day, if depression is keeping you in bed fight through that pain to get up because you did countless times before. You are a victorious individual and I am proud of what you’ve accomplished!

Let Go of Resentment By Singing a Song!

Can you really let go of resentment by singing a song? I can tell you there is a powerful song by Beyonce’s old group Destiny’s Child that can spearhead you in your journey to let go of resentment. She’s not along, there are many good songs including a bunch that are regulars in my morning worship list that can help you let go of resentment and they all focus on one thing, survivorship.

positive quotes recovery quotes emotional quotes

If you want to let go of resentment, you CANNOT live like a victim. If you keep feeling like a victim I will tell you now you will not let go of resentment. You won’t, I’ve seen it time and again with many clients. You have beat so many challenges already! I let go of resentment by realizing I am a loved, blessed, and redeemed child of God and He has already won. So for me, I am not a victim, I surely was however now I survive because I fight from victory.

You Have to be Accountable if YOU Want to Let Go of Resentment

I’ll repeat the section title, you have to be accountable if you want to let go of resentment. Accountability is something I personally have as a boundary because for some reason the blame game bothers me. I have done it a ton myself, pushing blame away from me, but I was hiding my part in the mess. My part would not allow me to let go of resentment, because I kept holding onto it even as I passed blame wherever I could.

My alcoholism and recreational drug use was everyone’s fault but my own. Doesn’t make any sense to me either, however it’s true. Or it was. I had to be accountable to myself and others if I wanted to let go of resentment after resentment. My part wouldn’t go away because it needed an owner. It’s not easy, however it is doable.

Let Go of Resentment by Being Grateful

I’m not saying you should say “Lord, I am glad Tommy punched me in the eye and I knocked him out. We both got suspended instead of just him!” However I believe we have a lot of animosity these days because we are not using gratitude, which is a key way to let go of resentment! Sort of weird, after all how can gratitude help to let go of resentment? Let’s take a quick peak.

I was incarcerated, I was an alcoholic, and tons of other negative experiences. I don’t regret (or resent haha it fits here as well!) any of that. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences. I used gratitude to let go of resentment, and I hardly have them anymore. When I do, again, I address them as soon as possible. I focus on the positive in every situation.

Life recovery Bible celebrate Recovery resentment step 4

Prison was incredibly boring, however it gave me a love for studying the Word of God. In fact, I have it right next to my Chromebook, because I read it at least once a day. Being in God’s presence is my happy place.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend Celebrate Recovery and AMAZING program. Turns out alcoholism wasn’t even my biggest issue! In fact that is where I learned I had to let go of resentment and that concept has stuck with me. Although I pretty much have to (I trained myself for that) because that’s when my Monday’s end, at 5:00 when I get ready to head over for a meeting and open share.

I’m grateful for being able to coach 13 people yesterday! It was a long day, however I saw positive results because of my help in 13 people. I saw someone overcome a life long issue and really thrive in the new situation they put themselves in! Gratitude, all of those could be a resentment however gratitude helped me let go of resentment. Coaching was never a resentment I had to let go of, however I did burn out before. I took a break, I adapted, and I had people constantly tell me to come back!

Gratitude is not just good for being able to let go of resentment. It’s a great way to live. You begin to look and notice the positives in life, and there are many of them. There’s either a blessing or a lesson in everything we encounter, and being able to let go of resentment for good is surely a blessing. But it took work.

Do You Want to Let Go of Resentment For Good?

If you want to free yourself from the grips of shame and misery that accompanies resentment, and finally let go of resentment you really need to consider our course literally named Lasting Change. It’s beyond cost effective for what you get out of it. It’s incredibly powerful, and it’s broken down into easy to digest modules. As an added bonus, you can get access and start TODAY!

let go of resentment
https://guidedstepscoaching.com/lasting-change-splash

We can also help you out! Grab a few sessions with me or one of our other seasoned coaches and let them help guide your steps as you walk the journey of finally being able to let go of resentment. Simply grab your slot here. Let’s let go of resentment together. Products & Services.

Here’s a FREE Gift!

Because you made it this far, I wanted to extend the offer of getting a free life assessment review. Simply leave a comment and we will shoot it over your way to the email you provide upon leaving a comment! Not bad, you get a $75 gift as well as learned 10 ways to let go of resentment!

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Mindset Coaching

Mindset Coaching Technique: How Self Talk Can Kill Your Progress and 5 Ways to Change It

self mindset coaching technique ruth bell graham epitaph tombstone life coaching and using positive self talk

Mindset Coaching Technique You Drop The Ball On!

Do you know there’s someone you are around literally all day that can either be a foe or an ally, often not on purpose? That’s you! Self talk is a mindset technique that many people use by nature. From the conversations I’ve heard people having with themselves, it seems they are almost trying to set themselves up to fail! When it comes to mindset coaching techniques you can do at home, there’s one that could be obvious to work on but it normally isn’t. Positive self talk!

Do These Examples Fit You?

  • As soon as you open your eyes, you say you’re going to have a bad day
  • You sin without even thinking about it and you shame shame yourself perpetually
  • You always pick the losers, you’re either going to be single forever or end up miserable
  • Can you try not to screw this up again?
  • You really can’t do anything right can you?
  • You’ve really just wasted your life and can’t do anything with the rest of it.
  • You’re such an idiot.
  • Don’t talk, your probably going to embarrass yourself as usual!
  • You should have led that person to Christ, why didn’t you say anything you failure?
  • What a dumby, you really thought you could handle one drink??!! Years later, look at you, you’re a wreck!
  • You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, I’m going to be a loser forever.

Imagine hearing things like what’s above or similar to it. Day in and day out. Week after week and month after month. Doesn’t it make sense you may actually believe it? Many people get snared by using poor self talk; when in all actuality you could be using an incredible mindset coaching technique, or more which you will find below! These are a few of the mindset coaching techniques we use ourselves to help change your way of thinking and seeing yourself.

If you’re saying negative ideas or statements first thing in the morning, you probably will have a rough time having a good day. Think about that idea, doesn’t it make sense? There’s a great saying I use all the time, it’s “garbage in, garbage out.” I find a lot of self talk among people involved in our Christian coaching, especially when it comes to leading people to Christ. We only have to plant the seed, He handles the rest.

Construction Has Been Complete

There’s a pastor family that has famously been known as THE evangelists in North America. Their life seemed perfect, and in many areas most would give anything for the life they had! Ruth Bell Graham has a tombstone that reads something that I want you to really sit back and think about. This is one of my favorite mindset coaching techniques do to the potential power it can have on your life. Although morbid when you think about it, it shows many different takeaways. Even those others consider to be greatly successful, realize there is always something to work on until the end.

End of Construction

Thank you for your patience

Tombstone of Ruth Bell Graham

Even as I write this post, I paused and reflected in it. I’m unsure of who is reading this, but regardless of where you are in your life stop for a second. I believe in you! I truly do, we all have the same ability to do better, to do the next right thing! We all have the ability to get out of our funks we encounter in life. We are human and make mistakes, however we have the ability to accept that mistake as a learning occurrence or can create a habit of it.

Look at the end of that paragraph, I mentioned we can create a habit. We can also work on changing that habit. Going back to the list above, there are a few examples where failure is assumed or ridiculed. I’m not sure who said it, but it resonates and I’d like you to take a peak at it before we move on.

Winners are losers who tried one more time”

Unknown, but powerful

That quote and the last part of the epitaph of Mrs. Bell Graham’s tombstone can be used together. Maybe not so much as a mindset coaching technique, but to build your character a bit. After you’ve been used to a habit for a while it becomes second nature. Be it stress eating or shooting heroin, taking a shot the second you walk in the door or being judgmental before knowing someone ingrained habits take time. You can work toward being your best, but you need to realize a habit of 3 months is easier, although still trying, to change than a habit of 20 years. It’s very possible to change though, people do it all the time, so why not you!? Let’s get more into self talk as I went down a rabbit hole, although it didn’t last as long as normal!

Self Mindset Coaching Technique #1 – Stick Up For Yourself!

Have you ever been around someone where they are going off on the failures of someone and want to say “give them a break man!” How often would someone say that to you if they saw you downgrading yourself? Think about that for a minute? If you’re willing to, or even just want to, stick up for someone else in that situation why can’t you do it for yourself? I’ve heard more than a handful of times “because I don’t deserve it.” When coaching and guiding them to explain why, the answer usually has to do with something from the past. In my role, the past is yesterday and it’s not my job to make a better yesterday. That’s actually my favorite saying, I got it form a wise man John Pelligrini who probably got it from someone else but I heard it from him first.

You can’t make a better yesterday

John Pelligrini

I took the saying and added on that you can live a better tomorrow. “You can’t make a better yesterday, but you can make a great tomorrow by living your best today.” And change is tough, but not impossible. “Yes it is.” SHUSH! You’re only making it tougher on yourself, so if you can’t tell yourself to ease up I’ll do it for you. Ease up man, cut yourself a break! Practice this mindset coaching technique, when you catch yourself down talking yourself stand up for yourself.

self mindset coaching technique

Self Mindset Coach Technique #2 – Kill Your Critic With Kindness

Would you tell a 3 or 4 year old to suck it up and they messed up? No way, you’d probably congratulate them for trying, say we all make mistakes, you did great and so on right? You need to take that same exact mindset and use it on yourself. Don’t tell your inner critic to just shut up, you’re be aggressive against your inner voice if you do! Like above, hearing something over and over again creates a habit or acceptance. So how do you hush your inner critic, your inner self critic? You use this mindset coaching technique!

Take the old adage, kill them with kindness, and talk to your inner voice as a child. Normally children may be scared when trying to do something new. They’re intimidated by their perceived lack of ability. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to fail off the bat, again would you tell a young child that? Even if it’s not so rudely thought don’t even go with “you’re probably not going to do well.” There’s a chance that you won’t do well and may slip, it’s common sense if you think about it. Instead, quiet your self critic down with something like “I’m going to try, and see how I do. I’ll try it again and do better if I don’t do that well!”

Kids have tantrums, and a calming voice works better at calming them than yelling, right? Kill your inner critic with kindness!

Self Mindset Coaching Technique #3 – Find Proof of the (Un)Truth!

The voice your mind can create through constant self talk can be rough. Myself for example I know I have multiple degrees, certificates, years of experience and vast amounts of life experience. So if I made a mistake on something years ago I had a voice that would ask “why are you so stupid!?” Or even during reflection and realizing I was getting up there in years “You really shouldn’t try to change, you’re past your prime.”

Although I would say those, and similar, things to myself they were inherently wrong! Now I’ll ask myself if I really just said that to myself. Actually, about a year ago I cracked myself up. I walked past a window and saw a distorted reflection of myself and said “oh man you’re fat!” I immediately countered, unfortunately in public and out loud, “At least I’m not ugly, I can drop this weight if I stop eating yogurt covered pretzels in bed.” I remember the clerk told me, there’s nothing wrong with yogurt covered pretzels.

Self Mindset Coaching Technique #4 – Destress!

This mind like anything else can act up when we are under stress. This is a self done mindset coaching technique, but also a part of self care. If you put too much stress on your leg for example, there’s a chance it could fracture right? Your mind is no different under stress. Although it may not outright fracture, you will surely not feel the most positive effects it is capable of. If you find you’re stressing, realize the source and work on it if you can’t outright eliminate it! There are tons of ways to do this:

  • Pray
  • Journal – which is good to do anyway!
  • Instead of stress eating, read a book
  • Write a foolish story -one of my favorite activities.
  • LAUGH!
  • Go for a bike ride
  • Close your eyes and take in nature’s self talk – birds chirping, waves crashing, the wind blowing, or rain falling for example.

Get use to practicing this mindset coaching technique regularly, and realize the peace that will come over you. Although this has little to do with bad self talk, that negative self talk will find an easier time creeping up if you are stressed.

Self Mindset Coaching Technique #5 – Stop Being a Jerk To Yourself and Show Some Appreciation!

This can be a tougher mindset coaching technique to master, again through use of hearing yourself. However, many I have met who self sabotage have trauma that was inflicted. Sometimes the lack of self appreciation is brought on by a toxic relationship. Whatever the reason, it is tough to practice self love. That’s understandable, however you can’t let it continue to beat yourself.

I forget who said it, but it was well put that you are in a relationship with yourself for your entire life. The beauty of relationships is that they can get better! You need to work on any relationship you are in, right? Working on the your own is no different. Do you want to be in a miserable relationship, just because you’re used to it? I was, and I have to tell you aside from being able to relate that my new relationship with myself is AMAZING.

Speaking to my fellow Christians, do you know I believe it is a sin to not love who you are? I bet you didn’t know that because many of you have never had the joy of being around me and my loud personality. I don’t do public speaking typically either, but I’m always game for a cup of coffee and bottle of water (I haven’t had coffee in years). I digress. The Bible makes it abundantly clear we are special to God. We are redeemed because of the shed blood of Christ! Maybe part of doing His work for you is to love yourself, appreciate yourself.

So let’s wrap it up, we have 5 different ways you can practice self mindset coaching techniques. Maybe you need an extra hand, and that’s fine we are here for you! Which of the self mindset coaching techniques above do you think you can work on? Which self mindset coaching technique do you feel will be the most difficult? Share your thoughts!